Ask your granddaughter "what's hot" and what she's into. If by doing this you find out, for example, her favorite singer is Taylor Swift, ask her about Taylor Swift: what kind of music does she play, which is your granddaughter's favorite song, which music video is her favorite, and so on. Well, now you know more about your granddaughter and more about her personality. And, hey, you made your birthday present shopping easier too. Let her know you'll listen. A big part of the role a grandmother plays is letting her granddaughter confide in her, with the girl knowing there is someone on the planet who loves her unconditionally, will listen without criticizing her, and who will always be behind her, even when she's wrong. Another common confession made by a girl to her grandmother is a secret desire. For example, if a girl sees a sweater in a store, she will most likely tell her grandmother. There is no known reason here, but there's a theory that she feels her grandmother will not laugh at her. Listen to your granddaughter; in today's crazy world, there aren't many people who will set aside a good half hour to just talk to a teenager, and she'll appreciate it more than you might

think.[1] X Research source Find a common interest. Say she shows an interest in the heritage you've provided her. That is to say, if your side is Irish and you're both interested in that heritage, learn more about it together. If she wants to learn about something you know about (knitting, for example), teach her. You might even be surprised with a handmade gift![2] X Research source Forgive her. Even though a fight between a grandmother and a granddaughter can be rare, disagreements do happen. If one does, make your point and walk away. She should get the clue to apologize. As soon as she does, you're well advised to forget it. Try to learn from your granddaughter. Is there something she could teach you? Maybe your phone has a text message feature, but you're wondering how to use it. Chances are good that your granddaughter can figure your whole cell phone out in minutes, with hers being much more complicated than yours. See if she'll set up your phone for you, then teach you what the different functions do.[3] X Research source Get to know her style and taste. Do it non-confrontationally. Just randomly ask her, "So, where do you like to shop?" or, "What style are you into these

days?" After that, she'll really appreciate your taking an interest, plus you'll have a good ideas for gift shopping. Let her know you're always thinking of her. This is an especially important concept if you live far apart or don't see her for long stretches of time. Send her a card that isn't a birthday or occasion card, with a nice picture on the outside, and with a little note on the inside. Call your son or daughter to find out when she has, say, an important test coming up, and send it then. Write something like, "Good luck. But I know you'll do fine." These will mean more to her than you might guess. See what her views are on the Grandma-ish behavior. Will she tolerate hugging any time, but kissing only in private? Will she let you hug/kiss her anytime? Ask her if there are any boundaries there. A girl appreciates someone who takes care not to embarrass her. Don't assume quality time together has to be time spend doing wildly exciting activities or being extravagant. When you're together, it doesn't have to be huge. You don't always need to go all out anymore. Every now and again, just sit on the couch with some sweets and watch TV. Being in close proximity is sometimes all

you need to feel closer to one another.[4] X Research source Try to see her often. If that's not possible, at least call or e-mail each other once a week, or more if you want to. This is important to most girls because it shows them that you are still thinking about them and that you care about them and want to be a part of their lives, even though you see each other maybe only once a year.[5] X Research source Remember, the bottom line is that you love each other. A girl in her teens will change her relationship with friends and parents, but, with her grandmother, she will often act the same at thirteen as she did at three.